owners of our silence, slaves to our words

We cannot be judged by others for the things we don't say, so whatever thoughts and opinions we keep to ourselves, we will still hold control over them.

But we are slaves to our words, spoken or written, no matter how long ago they were uttered or written down. They come back to haunt us from the past, or to hit us on the head, like a boomerang.

Do we mean everything we say, everything we write? Do we weigh our words, the power they possess? Words can heal, words can hurt. Words can mean many different things and people may misinterpret us.

Sometimes words have an intent that is not always properly conveyed. Communication is imperfect because it's human. Other times our words have no intent. We may speak too much, too soon, without thinking, say things in the spur of the moment... However, even if those words have no intent, other people may erroneously attribute one to them.

And then, how shall we claim the original intent or lack of intent of our words? Once the words leave our lips or are written on a piece of paper or on a screen, we have no control over them anymore. But we are bound to them by an invisible chain.

Why are we not more careful about what we say or write? It's easier said than done. How could we possibly be on guard all the time, measuring our words for fear of being misunderstood? It would be exhausting. Even when we try to measure them, misunderstandings occur.

We would also need to be perfectly calm and detached from our emotions. That is really difficult for me. I may be calm, but I'm incapable of detaching myself from my emotions. I'm a very passionate person. I need to voice my feelings even more than I need to voice my thoughts.

Sometimes emotions clog my chest and I feel as if they will suffocate me unless I let them out. I do my best to convey them orderly, to rein them in, but they're something so intense and so subjective...

I feel disheartened when I find myself being unfairly misinterpreted, but communication is a two-way street. Maybe it's an impossible endeavor if there's not a will to understand in the person who listens, as much as a need to be understood.